LEAVING CHINA

Phantom and I have arranged to meet between 6and 6.30 am the next day, so I set my alarm for 6. I'm planning to leave not later than 6.30. I sleep a little intermittently but on the whole not too badly. My alarm wakes me at 6 (after some lurid dreams: the stress is definitely coming out) and I get up very carefully to pack my PC and associated gadgets ready for the off. However, Phantom is ahead of me: I get a call just after 6 to say she is on her way so I ask if we can meet in the hotel bar. Moments later there is a knock at the door of my room and there's Phantom calling out my name; I ask if she can wait quietly as I don't want to disturb the guests and at present I don't have any clothes on so I hurry to the door trying to put on my underpants. Realising I'm still stiff with my lower back problem I sit on the bed to put them on. The next moment I'm rolling around on the floor hollering in excruciating pain; my back has suddenly gone altogether and the muscles are spasming. Phantom bursts in and helps me sit up, still sans pants, and embarrassingly for me she has to help me to get dressed. For a few minutes I'm almost paralysed with pain and try to roll gently on my back to ease it, a trick Sarah learned from a physiotherapist. Phantom worries whether I can get to the airport at all in this condition and I reply that I haven't much choice as my China visa expires on Saturday.

She carries my cases downstairs (she is physically very strong) and declares that she's calling a taxi. I'm in no position to argue. Painfully I haul myself up and with Phantom's help manage to make it downstairs to check out. She is remarkably together seeing as she was a bit drunk last night and I have to say that without her I doubt very much I would have made it. I have to sit down in the hotel bar and Phantom does everything; calls a taxi and carries my cases outside while the lady at reception offers me a drink of water. I wait for what seems an age and when the taxi finally arrives a kind Chinese gentleman helps me to stand up and walk to the door. Phantom and the taxi driver put my cases in the boot of the car and she helps me into the back seat, then we set off. I'm still in some discomfort but a long way from the agony of about 30 minutes ago when I got up. In the front Phantom's busy talking to the driver in Chinese and sending messages to her partner. I just sit and try to ignore the pain; all my medicines are packed away and it's too late to take them out now.

Arriving at Terminal 5, Phantom gets a trolley while I pay the driver and he helps me out of the car. I'm positively crippled at this point and moving like someone 30 years older with severe arthritis. Eventually I follow Phantom with the cart into the airport: we are in plenty of time as the check-in gate has not opened yet. Phantom waits with me for the gate to open, so we join the queue while it isn't too long. Standing up I feel a bit more comfortable and the check-in procedure doesn't take long; 3 of my bags go on the plane and I'm left with the small suitcase carrying my gadgets. A fear that I wouldn't be able to travel in this condition slowly dissipates. I've got my boarding pass and Phantom offers to wait with me until I go to the departure gate, which I decide to do before 10 am to go through security. So we go up an escalator to Burger King where I get a burger and coffee for breakfast; Phantom has had breakfast already of steamed buns as she woke at something like 5.30. However she has a burger too and we sit chatting for a while about this and that, until 9.30 when she suggests I make my way to the gate. So at this point we hold each other and say goodbye, both agreeing not to look back as we leave. Phantom is my good friend, a friend to rely on; possibly even a friend for life. I can't thank her enough for everything she's done for me.

The walk through security isn't too bad, I seem to be ahead of the crowds and apart from having to take my belt off which means my shorts almost fall off me is fairly painless. In less than half an hour I'm in the departure lounge where I sit down and message Phantom, Seven and Iris. However when I walk to the gate for the plane I'm a bit confused as the departure time has been altered to 12.15; when I go to the check-in counter to ask what's going on the guy there tells me there has been a system failure: this happened before to BA and was all over the news as it led to flights being cancelled for up to 48 hours. I begin to have visions of being stranded in the airport. In addition I was expecting a jumbo and the plane seems much smaller; I'm assured it's the right plane but I can't help feeling that the one I booked the seat on had a bigger seating plan. I have a paranoid vision of an over booked flight.

I go and get a bottle of water then sit near the gate watching what's happening. No change is made to the information board but the gentleman at the desk said that everything was in “chaos”, not encouraging. However everything does seem to be proceeding as normal. Eventually passengers start moving onto the plane but I remain where I am as during my stay in China I've learned that you can wait until the last minute to tag onto the back of the line:- there's no benefit in standing there for ages and besides my back is still very delicate. At this point my heart sinks as not one but two large groups of Chinese schoolchildren appear, over-excited, noisy and seemingly uncontrollable. My imagination goes into overdrive about how bad the flight will be. Eventually however I get up and check with one of the attendants which line to join, then attach myself to the end. Just as I get there the attendant ushers me over to the next line, and I hand over my boarding pass: she scribbles out my seat number and I wonder what's going on until she utters the magic words “Hold on sir, upgrade!” On the plane I'm moved forward to the next class up, an upgrade worth £600! This means a bigger seat, china tableware, attentive service and various other small comforts that will render the whole journey much more comfortable! I can't believe my luck! OK I'm not near a window this time, but that is to cavil too much!

In face of this my anxieties disappear, as I'm so delighted. I manage to message Phantom one more time and she's pleased for me. When the plane taxies away and finally takes off I gaze through the nearest window and look at the receding cityscape of Beijing for the last time.

The flight turns out to be one of the most pleasant I've ever had, with a well-done and quite tender fillet steak for lunch with potatoes and vegetables accompanied by a salmon salad starter, a sponge pudding, bread and butter and red wine for lunch. Dinner toward the end of the flight is ravioli and another sponge pud. I have plenty of films to keep me occupied and I do try and doze off but this turns out to be impossible. Probably it's a good thing as it will help me to adjust to the new time-zone if I stay awake.

As the flight draws to a close and the plane descends, I can see the familiar landscape of England. A strange feeling comes over me, a feeling of my time in China rapidly becoming a memory, almost a dream. The familiarity is so great that it can't be shaken. There's something charming about England, with its smallness and in some cases, familiar mediocrities.

I get through border control very quickly as I can use an electronic channel, however I wait for what seems an age for all my bags to come through; it's inevitable as I get to the baggage claim before they begin to arrive and I try in vain to convince myself they haven't been lost (it's happened to one or two colleagues of mine.) At length though, they all arrive and I walk off through customs to the Heathrow express. Getting through the tube system with 4 bags isn't easy, I have to carry them up flights of stairs although I use ramps and lifts wherever possible. Plus at one point my bags get stuck in the gate to the tube as it closes before they are through. Thanks to a couple of good Samaritans, I am helped through the gates and up the stairs with these cases. I'm highly impressed by this kindness as it's not something I normally tend to associate with London. At last I make it onto the Hammersmith line to Whitechapel station where I learn there is no way out except by using the stairs and as I say a kind young chap helps me up the stairs and through the gate. About 10 minutes or so later I've slowly walked my bags to my accommodation in London, which is one of the halls of residence for the universities.